On Time

It is not the passage of time which unsettles us, but the shrinking of opportunities.

Everyday I think to myself what I should have been. Ruminations of the past are my present. Who now can say ‘future’ without some underlying dread? Many of us believe, either consciously or unconsciously, that we have no future. In some sense, this is true. We are perpetually learning to outgrow ourselves. Today’s habits aren’t meant for tomorrow. Does this mean there is no continuity between the past and present selves? On the contrary, signs of an earlier self permeate the evolved self. There are traces of the past which, while unnecessary, exist in us all the same.

If there is anything one can say of time, it is that for most of us it never goes at our desired speed. Either it is too fast or too slow and never feels just right. Happiness, contrary to cliche, is not when we escape time or feel like time stops. Happiness is when we feel at home within the current flow of time.

Many waste their youth worrying that they are not being young correctly. That we ought to be doing so-and-so because we are young. There are two extremes: either that since we are young we should be living for the future (working, studying, being “mature” and “professional” in order to train for adulthood, etc.) or living for the present (partying, drinking, doing drugs and people “for the hell of it”, etc.). Youthfulness feels burdened with an imperative: we should not waste what little time we have. Therefore, we have many sickly, anxious young people who spend more time concerned with what they should be doing, instead of doing what they want to be doing. Only when we free ourselves from the demands of youth will we be truly young.